Helping others to fly

Editor’s note: Continuing a series of stories and articles written by the late Pastor Tom Goetz, with the support of his wife Jeanne Goetz of Odessa. Jeanne Goetz is working to get the items published in book form, but for right now, interested readers can read his work in the series of articles that continue in this issue of The Record. By TOM GOETZ

No one can live entirely without encouragement. It’s as necessary to our total well-being as any other source of nourishment. It gives us strength during difficult times, comfort during painful ones. It builds strong, stable lives for all who receive it in regular, adequate doses.

The word contains the idea of giving a portion of or strength to someone who has become “faint hearted” (1 Thess. 4:14). We’re all like that at times. Modern life with its pressures, distorted value systems and demands weakens even the strongest on occasion. We need encouragement to stand against such an attack.

Giving encouragement is a skill anyone can learn. I’m thankful that throughout my life there were people, with this skill, from whom I could draw strength and continue in my chosen direction. Without them I may have quit.

Characteristics of an Encourager

Barnabas, whose name means “Son of Encouragement” is given to us as an example of what God intended an encourager to be (Acts 4:36). A circumstance in the early history of the church illustrates how he worked.

Jerusalem had been the central location of the early church, but due to persecution and the work of the Holy Spirit the emphasis switched to Antioch. This change raised several questions and became the source of tension among the believers. When a decision was made to investigate, Barnabas was chosen. Acts 11:23-25 describes Barnabas and can help us understand how to become encouragers as well.

1. He saw the Grace of God. There are basically only two ways to view any situation. One is to focus on the positive while the other is to focus on the negative. The first thing Barnabas teaches us is to look for what God has accomplished and not at what remains undone. Some people have the ability to do this consistently but most of us seem to need some help. It may require an entirely new perspective, but if we are going to be encouragers we must determine to see with grace.

2. He was glad. Have you ever wondered what made Barnabas glad? I believe it was the evidence he saw of God at work. Nothing exposes our values and motives faster then seeing God doing something in someone else’s life. We either express genuine joy or we grudgingly acknowledge what has happened but still focus on what needs to be done. Every time progress is made in a believers life we have an opportunity to “be glad” and encourage them rather than implying that what has happened is of no significance.

3. He encouraged them to stay true to God. Once when I was going through a particularly difficult experience I was crying on the shoulder of a friend who was trying to encourage me. Unfortunately, the advice and encouragement he offered was immoral and would have been devastating in its consequences. The test of real encouragement is whether it helps the person continue on or regain God’s purpose and direction for them. Anyone advising another to “curse God and die” would not be offering genuine encouragement. Frequently, we need to help understanding that difficulties are not a sign of God’s disfavor but rather an indication of His work in our life. An encouraging word at that moment can sustain us until we’re able to see God “in things present” (Romans 8:38).

4. He was a good man. Why didn’t the Holy Spirit say Barnabas was righteous man since he most certainly was? Why a “good man?” I once heard someone distinguish between a good man and a righteous man. Each will do the right thing, but a good man won’t condemn you if you don’t. There were probably numerous situations Barnabas saw at Antioch that could have been improved. Certainly there was immaturity and unrighteous behavior but he was not only a good man but was full of the Holy Spirit and faith. An encourager needs faith. Not just in God, but in God in others. That’s the secret. This type of faith frees and encourages others even in their failures. It’s one thing to believe God can do all things. It’s another to believe God can do those things through someone we consider a loser. An encourager believes in God in others.

How we Can Encourage Others

There is a limit to the ways we can encourage each other, but I want to mention five basic areas in which all of us need encouragement.

1. Each of us needs evidence that God has been and is at work in our lives.

Many people advocate the keeping of a spiritual diary in which we record the various experiences of life. One of the benefits is that we’re able to look at it over the years and see things God has done. That gives us hope and encourages us.

If an individual is convinced that nothing has happened in his life, if there isn’t any change, if they are convinced nothing is happening, then it’s easy to assume nothing will happen or change and they feel doomed to a life of hopelessness. One of the most important things we can do for each other as Christians is to help each other see how God is working in our individual lives. We need to be genuine and avoid flattery or exaggerated comments but we can find ways of showing others the evidence of God’s hand in their lives.

2. Each of us needs affirmation. As a pastor I’ve found it possible to go for long periods of time in which there was not evidence that I was making any progress. It’s easy to wonder if it’s worth the effort. Then someone will tell you how much they appreciate what you’ve done for them or how the sermon was just what they needed. Or a small crumpled piece of paper on which is written, “ I love you, Pastor Tom,” is slipped into your hand by a wide-eyed five-year-old or a graduating high-schooler saying, “You’ve made the difference for me,” and you know it’s all worthwhile.

It isn’t only pastors, however who need affirmation. Fathers trying to sort through their maze of responsibilities also need affirmation. Wives and mothers who have opted to be home-makers rather than choosing a career outside the home need affirmation and encouragement. They are constantly barraged with the message that if they want their lives to matter they will have to get a job. One of the challenges to us is helping each other see that we are making the contribution. It’ll require a careful examination of values and priorities and the fact that the things which seem to matter may actually be most important should be underlined. Those who seem to be making a little contribution are one of the lessons of the New Testament.

3. Each of us needs acceptance. There is a cry in the heart of each of us to be accepted simply because we exist and not because of what we do or produce. Performing for the acceptance is an exhausting way to live. Frequently the effort required becomes so burdensome the individual decides it’s not worth the effort. Many “dropout” children and Christians have made that decision. To be an encourager means to express to others they matter more to you than what they do. It means to communicate self-worth and dignity to another person.

Many of us have difficulty in this area because we’ve been unable to overlook the weaknesses and faults of others. It isn’t compromising with righteousness to accept someone when we are aware of their faults and weaknesses. In fact, it’s the opposite because righteousness is given and never earned. Righteousness is in the eye of the beholder and an encourager is able to communicate that to others. If you want to encourage others it may be necessary to begin by examining our life for attitudes of self- justification or condemnation toward others. If you can’t see someone else as valuable regardless of their faults you’ll never be able to encourage them.

4. Each of us needs a future and untapped potential. There is nothing more difficult than trying to restore hope in someone who has lost their sense of potential. We humans are designed in such a way that we cannot exist long without challenge. People who become effective encouragers are those who are able to help others discover their untapped potential and thereby guarantee them a challenging tomorrow. They’re the ones who inspire us to try something that everyone considers impossible or silly.

To encourage others, look for their potential and help them realize it. When you do, you give them hope and motivation because people with hope are enthusiastic. The Bible says “without a vision people perish.” An encourager gives others vision and the inspiration to pursue it.

5. Each of us needs to belong. The number one emotional problem of the world may be our sense of rejection. Everyone needs to belong. The fact that our society is populated with people who are constant “joiners”’ is proof of that need. You could start an organization advocating non-membership in the organizations people would join – just to belong. An encourager meets that need in others, somehow communicating a network of security around other people, letting them know they belong. An encourager makes you feel at home, that this is where you belong.

There is a song that contains the following words: “I can fly higher than an eagle. But you are the wind beneath my wings.”

To encourage, become the wind beneath the wings of another person. And on the strength and force of that wind they are able to climb higher and higher. When you become that type of person you’ll be the one around whom others congregate. You’ll be the one others say made the difference in their lives. You’ll be the one others turn to in moments of need. You’ll also be the one with the greater reward.

Who is there in your life that you can encourage today?