11-pound wiener dog vs. 14-pound turkey

I always thought Thanksgiving was supposed to be cozy, heartwarming, and vaguely magical. I did not realize it involved a 14.5-pound turkey that outweighs my Wiener dog, Winnie, and roughly the same amount of panic I feel every time I try to cook anything larger than a frozen pizza.

This week, I officially embarked on my first at-home Thanksgiving in my very own tiny house. Just me, the turkey, and enough sides to feed a small army — or at least seven or eight humans who may or may not comfortably fit in my living room.

It’s cottage-core chaos, complete with mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, v...