Netflix, needles, and one very stubborn Christmas tree

While most people spent Thanksgiving worrying about overcooking the gravy or forgetting the rolls in the oven, I spent mine on my knees praying to the culinary gods that my turkey wouldn't explode. Yes, explode. Not because that's a normal concern, but because I've seen National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, and if you think I'm above imagining my bird turning into a puff of Thanksgiving confetti, you're wrong. In that movie, Cousin Eddie's wife's turkey is cut into at the table, and horror of horrors, it lets out a hollow air sound, completely empty inside. Just browned skin and bones. A turk...